Your Inner Voice.

Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an inner voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.

For people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments.

Do you ever find yourself berating yourself for something that you’ve done? Have you ever found yourself struggling with something that you know you should do but keep talking yourself out of? That’s your inner voice speaking.

Your inner voice will say things like, “You can’t do this”, “There’s no way you can succeed”, and “Why bother trying, you’ll just fail”. Your inner voice is your harshest critic and the one who will lower your self-esteem the quickest. You need to change that inner voice from a negative influence to a positive one.We all have an inner voice. You should talk back to it. Combat it. Let it know that YOU are the one in control, not it!

Let’s look at some of the dialogue the inner voice will tell you and healthy ways to rebut what it is saying.
When the inner voice is unfairly harsh:
"People said they liked my presentation, but it was nowhere near as good as it should have been. I can't believe no-one noticed all the places I messed up. I'm such an impostor."

Counteract by being reassuring yourself:
"Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it wasn't perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation and did a good job. I'm proud of myself. This was a great success."

If the inner voice is unrealistically generalizing as in: "I got an F on the test. I don't understand anything in this class. I'm such an idiot. Who am I fooling? I shouldn't be taking this class. I'm stupid and I don't belong in college."
Tell that inner voice something specific: "I did poorly on this one test, but I've done O.K. on all the homework. There are some things here that I don't understand as well as I thought I did, but I can do the material-I've done fine in other classes that were just as tough.”


The inner voice might also be extremely illogical.
"He is frowning. He didn't say anything, but I know it means that he doesn't like me!"
Tell that voice something that is purely logical.
"O.K., he's frowning, but I don't know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask."

Finally, the inner voice will take things to extremes.
"She turned me down for a date! I'm so embarrassed and humiliated. No one likes or cares about me. I'll never find a girlfriend. I'll always be alone."
It’s time to tell that inner voice things aren’t nearly as bad as they make them out to be.
"Ouch! That hurt. Well, she doesn't want to go out with me. That doesn't mean no one does. I know I'm an attractive and nice person. I'll find someone."

In general, when that inner voice begins putting you down, counteract with a positive statement. Don’t let that voice overtake you and talk you into something that just isn’t true. You are in control – not the inner critic. Take charge and begin the journey toward more positive thinking!

One way to do this is through positive affirmations. This isn’t new-age anything, it’s simply a way for you to infuse positive self-talk into your life and calm that negative inner voice. Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a person thinks about himself and as a result improve the individual’s self-esteem.

Consistent use of positive affirmations will transform the negative beliefs about who a person thinks he is into positive ones, will begin to alter the basis and structure of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem.

While utilized in a various ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music. What therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations is to create a very relaxed audio environment for the individual to become even more open or suggestive to the language of positive affirmations. When you use music while telling yourself positive affirmations, you will be more relaxed and more open to accepting the positive comments you are telling yourself.

These music CD’s are available everywhere, however. Just look for something that has calming music along with some soothing background noise like waves crashing on a shore or water that is flowing.

The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image and the negative thoughts about who a person thinks he is that generates his experience of poor or negative self-esteem is well established in the his belief system. In many cases the development of a negative self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation.

QUIZ Self Esteem Assessment.

While you might already have a good indication that you are suffering from low self-esteem, it might be a good idea to explore this a little further.

Take this simple quiz.

Self-Esteem Assessment
Directions:
Answer T if the statement is true for you. Answer F if the statement is false for you.


1. I am able to discuss my good points, skills, abilities, achievements, and successes with others.
2. I assert myself with someone whom I believe is violating or ignoring my rights.
3. I am content with who I am, how I act, and what I do in life.
4. I am not bothered by feelings of insecurity or anxiety when I meet people for the first time.
5. My life is balanced between work, family life, social life, recreation/leisure, and spiritual life.
6. I am aware of the roles I played in my family of origin and have usually been able to make these behavior patterns work for me in my current life.

7.I am bonded with the significant others in my environment at home, work, school, at play, or in the community.
8. I am able to perform the developmental tasks necessary to ensure my ongoing healthy self-esteem.
9. I am satisfied with my level of achievement at school, work, home, and in the community.
10. I am a good problem solver; my thinking is not clouded by irrational beliefs or fears.
11. I am willing to experience conflict, if necessary to protect my rights.


If you selected F for three or more of the preceding questions, you probably need to work at increasing your self-esteem.

There are many, many indicators that a person has low self-esteem. Consider this list.


People with low self-esteem:

• Consider themselves lost, unworthy of being cared for
• Are poor risk takers
• Operate out of a fear of rejection
• Are typically unassertive in their behavior with others
• Are fearful of conflict with others
• Are hungry for the approval of others
• Are poor problem solvers
• Are fraught with irrational beliefs and have a tendency to think irrationally
• Are susceptible to all kinds of fears

• Have a tendency to become emotionally stuck and immobilized
• Have a poor "track record" in school or on the job; conversely, they sometimes over compensate and become over-achievers
• Are unable to affirm or to reinforce themselves positively
• Are unable to make an honest assessment of their strengths, qualities, and good points; they find it difficult to accept compliments or recognition from others
• Have poorly defined self-identities with a tendency to be chameleons in order to fit in with others
• Are insecure, anxious, and nervous when they are with others

• Often become overcome with anger about their status in life and are likely to have chronic hostility or chronic depression
• Are easily overcome with despair and depression when they experience a setback or loss in their lives
• Have a tendency to overreact and become de-energized by resentment, anger, and the desire for revenge against those whom they believe have not fully accepted them
• Fulfill roles in their families of origin that are counter-productive and maladaptive. These roles carry over into their adult lives

• Are vulnerable to mental health problems and have a propensity to use addictive behavior to medicate their hurt and pain. Such addictive behavior can include alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, shopping, smoking, working too much, or the search for excitement, truth, wisdom, and a guru with an easy guide to the achievement of happiness.

Kind of overwhelming, isn’t it? Do you recognize yourself in any of these statements? Don’t feel alone. Actually, low self-esteem is actually quite a widespread problem. And if you suffer from this problem, it can cause some more – even serious – problems.


Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences.
• It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.
• It can cause problems with friendships and relationships.
• It can seriously impair academic and job performance.
• It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.


Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behaviour.

There are actually three “faces” that people with low self-esteem wear. See if you see yourself in any of these personalities.

The Imposter: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. The imposter lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." They need continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.


The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. The rebel lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." They continuously need to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.

The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. The loser uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. They look constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.


So what does a person with healthy self-esteem look like? These people exhibit the following qualities.

• Hold themselves as worthy to be loved and to love others, worthy to be cared for and to care for others, worthy to be nurtured and to nurture others, worthy to be touched and supported and to touch and support

others, worthy to be listened to and to listen to others, worthy to be recognized and to recognize others, worthy to be encouraged and to encourage others, worthy to be reinforced as "good" people and to recognize others as "good" people.

• Have a productive personality; they have achieved success to the best of their ability in school, work, and society.

• Are capable of being creative, imaginative problem solvers; of being risk takers, optimistic in their approach to life and in the attainment of their personal goals.

• Are leaders and are skillful in dealing with people. They are neither too independent nor too dependent on others. They have the ability to size up a relationship and adjust to the demands of the interaction.


• Have a healthy self-concept. Their perception of themselves is in synchrony with the picture of themselves they project to others.

• Are able to state clearly who they are, what their future potential is, and to what they are committed in life. They are able to declare what they deserve to receive in their lifetime.

• Are able to accept the responsibility for and consequences of their actions. They do not resort to shifting the blame or using others as scapegoats for actions that have resulted in a negative outcome.

• Are altruistic. They have a legitimate concern for the welfare of others. They are not self-centered or egotistical in their outlook on life. They do not take on the responsibility for others in an over-responsible way. They help others accept the responsibility for their own actions. They are; however, always ready to help anyone who legitimately needs assistance or guidance.


• Have healthy coping skills. They are able to handle the stresses in their lives in a productive way. They are able to put the problems, concerns, issues, and conflicts that come their way into perspective. They are able to keep their lives in perspective without becoming too idealistic or too morose. They are survivors in the healthiest sense of the word. They have a good sense of humor and are able to keep a balance of work and fun in their lives.

• Look to the future with excitement, a sense of adventure and optimism. They recognize their potential for success and visualize their success in the future. They have dreams, aspirations, and hopes for the future.

• They are goal-oriented with a sense of balance in working toward their goals. They know from where they have come, where they are now, and where they are going.

Does this sound like someone you want to be like? Well, it can be! There are so many steps you can take to raise your self-worth and stop suffering from low self-esteem. You will be a much better person for it and enjoy a wonderfully fulfilling life.

What Is Self Esteem?

Some people think that self-esteem means confidence - and of course confidence comes into it - but it's rather more than that. The fact is that there are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvelous things but who have poor self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors and comedians and singers in particular can seem to glow with assurance 'on stage', and yet off-stage many of them feel desperately insecure. Indeed, individuals can be stunningly attractive and world-famous, and seem poised and perfect - yet still, deep down, find it hard to value themselves. Think of the late Princess of Wales and Marilyn Monroe and you'll accept, I think, that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.

So, if self-esteem isn't quite the same thing as confidence, what is it?


Well, the word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word which means 'to estimate'. So, self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.
To do that you need to ask yourself certain questions:
• Do I like myself?
• Do I think I'm a good human being?
• Am I someone deserving of love?
• Do I deserve happiness?
• Do I really feel - both in my mind and deep in my guts - that I'm an OK person?


People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer 'yes' to these questions. If you feel you have low self esteem, don’t despair. Just read on!
The concept of self-esteem can be summed up as: Confidence in our ability to think and in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life and confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feelings of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

We also commonly think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves.


However, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence. We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem.
Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our psyche experiences the thoughts that we have about ourselves. If a person has positive thoughts about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts about whom he thinks he is then he will experience poor or negative self-esteem.


Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various emotions associated with it.

We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have had in the past – it says that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings.

More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of whom we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or created. Our personal self-esteem is shaped by our past and the experiences we have had in our lives.

We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially at an early age. We give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.

Living in a state of low self esteem can be very damaging to the quality of life you lead on a daily basis. Your self esteem is YOUR opinion of yourself, but far too many people allow others to influence or even make up their opinion for them. It sounds so very silly, but if you think on this you will realize how certain events, comments and encounters helped to "make or break" your self esteem.

Self Esteem And Where it Comes From.

Esteem is a simple word. It is worth and value that we apply to people, places, and situations. It is the amount of respect we assess. We have esteem for our world leaders. We have esteem for places like church and synagogue. We have esteem for an exemplary performance whether it is in sports, acting, or simply doing the right thing.
But the most important place we need to apply esteem is within ourselves. We must maintain our self-esteem in order to place value on ourselves as a worthy individual in the world. Self-esteem can affect every single part of our lives. If that esteem is low, our lives will be dull and grey. Elevating esteem for ourselves could very well be the key to happiness in life.

Most people's feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate somewhat based on their daily experiences. The grade you get on an exam, how your friends treat you, ups and downs in a romantic relationship-all can have a temporary impact on your well-being.

Your own self-esteem, however, is something more fundamental than the normal "ups and downs" associated with situational changes. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal "ups and downs" may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent. In contrast, for people with poor basic self-esteem, these "ups and downs" may make all the difference in the world.

People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them. Even then, the good feeling (from a good grade, etc.) can be temporary.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.

It is possible to raise your self-esteem to levels that will enhance your life and the way you view life. It can make a tremendous difference in your quality of life. Learning techniques to raise self-esteem can be taught and put into practice in just a few days. However, it will take practice to keep your self-worth at the forefront.

                                  WHERE DOES OUR SELF-ESTEEM COME FROM?

Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem.
When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.


An adult who has healthy self-esteem was given this gift in childhood. This could have been done in many ways. Probably one of the most important is being praised for accomplishments. Children who are talked to respectfully and listened to also contributed to healthy self-esteem in adulthood. These children were hugged often and given attention and experienced some type of success in school or sporting activities.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have to identify the childhood for those adults who have poor self-esteem. These children were often criticized harshly, were yelled at or beaten, and were given little attention by those they were closest to. They were ridiculed and even teased as they experienced failures in their young lives. They were made to feel they had to be perfect in order to be valued and associated failure in situations as a failure of their whole selves.


It’s sad, isn’t it? To think of a child treated that way. What’s even sadder is the effect that treatment has on their lives as adults. We are shaped and molded by our experiences. Do you recognize yourself?
How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they are likable and lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better relationships. They are more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest.

Self-esteem plays a role in almost everything we do. People with high self-esteem do better in school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to have better relationships with peers and adults, feel happier, find it easier to deal with mistakes, disappointments, and failures, and are more likely to stick with something until they succeed. It takes some work to raise your self esteem, but it's a skill you'll have for life.

Stop Procrastinating Now

If you know you have the condition of procrastination, you have made a start toward finding a way to cure it. There are many ways to deal with procrastination. It just takes acceptance of the fact you are a procrastinator that will get you started. After all, you can’t cure something that you don’t admit you have.
After you have accepted the fact you are a procrastinator, there are ways you can deal with procrastination. These ways include:

• Take stock of the way you make decisions. If you take too much time making decisions because you are afraid to try, wanting it to be perfect, perhaps you need to look deep inside yourself to see why you feel that way. You may want to take on the assignment, but take it one step at a time instead of looking at the whole assignment at once. This way you won’t get bogged down or overwhelmed with what you are facing. The procrastinators who tried this claimed it worked.

• When you do a project, break it down into manageable steps, have a specific time frame set for each part and focus on completing that part for that time allotted. Make sure this allotted time is within your scope or abilities to get it done. You wouldn’t want to underestimate the time and find you are under pressure to get it done.

• Try to plan your activities throughout the day so you can give yourself time for relaxation. This is important. Because if you work too much, you will burn yourself out. Not only that but if you reward yourself with relaxation time, you are in fact giving yourself credit for some desired time out. This will help prevent you from having resentment over the chore you have to undertake.

• Any time you take on a task, monitor your steps closely. Take small steps and watch for any distractions that can occur. When a problem occurs, or you have a feeling about something, handle it immediately. Don’t put it off. Your feelings may be founded or may not be. The important point is to face your fears head on and understand why they happen. Then take the proper steps to correct them.

• If you are a perfectionist, try to remember that nothing is perfect, no matter what. Therefore, go into a task with one goal in mind – to do your best. Do not put a lot of expectations on yourself except to complete the task at hand in the time frame you set for yourself. This will help you to overcome the condition of
perfectionism.

Besides the above methods, you also have to take other steps so you can overcome certain characteristics that prevent you from living a fruitful life. One point of reference is to look at fear and understand why you have it. You have to understand the fear, identify what it is, and learn how to overcome it. The best way to describe this is with an example. Let’s say you were looking for a job and you keep getting rejected over and over. Because of this you decide not to pursue finding another job. Why did you decide to stop searching just because you were rejected? Perhaps the reason you were rejected was because you kept going after jobs that did not fit your skills or qualifications. Perhaps you did not perform the interview properly. Maybe your resume wasn’t written correctly. There are so many variables to consider. The one thing you have to realize is that rejection does not mean you have to take it as an absolute. Rejection does not mean anything personal. If you are not sure, you need to speak to a counselor who can examine your resume and provide a critique on your job search and interview skills, to determine where you are lacking.
By seeking a counsellor, you stand a better chance of getting good results with your job search.

If you have problems with meeting appointments on time, try to plan your day earlier. Get up sooner in the morning so you have plenty of time to prepare. Then leave at least an hour before your scheduled time, this way you can overcome any obstacles that may come your way as you seek to get to your destination. It is also good to get a calendar so you can mark your appointment down. This way you can see your appointments at a glance. It would be good to have an appointment book to take with you when you leave home so you can keep track of your appointments. Having reminders in front of you all the time will help you in your efforts to improve making appointments on time.

When you make plans, only plan at least a week ahead of time. Do not go beyond that, otherwise you may overburden yourself and start panicking. After you have completed one week, plan for the next week. Keep doing this each week for as long as you need to.

And when it comes to doing any task, do not take on the whole thing at once. Instead, break the task down into meaningful chunks. This way you won’t get overwhelmed with so much to do at the same time. You will only have the small part to look at and this will help you get the job done faster and easier. When you have completed the first task, proceed to the next task. Keep doing this each and every time you complete the task and you will find the whole project will get completed without your backing out of it. You’ll be amazed at what you did when you look back and see what you accomplished. Remember to break down each task into smaller bits until you become comfortable enough that you can do a task without breaking it down more.

The most important consideration for you to think about regarding procrastination is that you have to recognize all self-defeating problems such as fear, anxiety, inability to concentrate, bad time management, being indecisive, and perfectionism.

You also have to identity and write down your goals for whatever you choose to do. If it is a task that you have been assigned to do, then write down your goals on paper and keep track of what you do. Do the same thing with regards to your strengths, weaknesses, values, and priorities. You must record everything. This way you can refer to it every day. This will help you tremendously in both the short and long run.

When you look at your values, you will know what you believe and what you don’t. You will understand what your true self really is and where you stand on many issues you are confronted with each day.

Priorities help you to keep organized. Putting your priorities down in the order they need to get done and looking at that list frequently as you work, will help you immensely to overcome your anxiety of not getting the work done. It is like going to the shops with a shopping list. As you shop for what you want, you see the item and place it in your cart. Then you check that item off your list. This is exactly what you do with your priorities. You simply write them down and proceed to take them on one at a time. As you complete the task, you check it off. This really is a great way to make sure everything gets done, and you’ll be surprised at how you managed to complete each task in a timely fashion.

When you perform a task, look at your values, and decide if they are compatible. If so, go on and do it. But if the task is not compatible with your values, don’t get involved. Nine times out of ten, if you take on a job, task, or assignment, and your values don’t match with that job, task, or assignment, you will not complete it. Then you will go back to square one again and feel inadequate. Make sure you match your values with the action or actions you plan to take.

Another factor is that procrastinators fail to utilize time well. Many of them are time wasters. Don’t be a time waster. Instead, be a time manager. If you learn to manage your time wisely, you will find that all the things you used to complain about not being able to get done, because you had no time for it, will now get done because you do have time for it. You will become elated by the time you have. You’ll begin wondering why you waited so long to do this.

If you are in school, there is a way to get around your procrastination. When you begin to study, do so in small increments instead of looking at the whole assignment at once. Take a certain amount of time and study for that time. Then stop, take a break, then start the next block. Do the same until you complete the entire assignment. This will make the effort better and less demanding for you. After you have completed each short block, reward yourself for having completed that by taking a short break and enjoy your favorite drink or snack. You deserve it because you made it through that first section. When you take your breaks don’t spend too much time on them. You’ll get spoiled and won’t want to go back to your work. So try to keep them around 10 minutes, no longer if possible.

When you do study, have one goal in your mind, to learn and to prepare for the ultimate triumph – passing the test for this subject. Try to motivate yourself to study so you can achieve this end result. The more you picture the end result of an A on your test, the more motivated you will get. Another method you can use as you study, and many students who were procrastinators found this to be helpful, is to create a list of sections you have to study. Maybe break things down by chapter subheadings. This way as you complete each subheading, you mark it down on your list. By following these guidelines, you will get through your homework without once giving up or postponing the task.

The most important consideration for you is to set realistic goals for yourself. This means writing down what you expect to achieve for the day, week, month, or year, and doing everything possible to accomplish those goals. Be realistic with your goals. Do not put too much on yourself at once. Instead, strive for something reachable at first. Once you have reached for and obtained that goal, shoot for the next one. Keep doing this until you have reached all your goals. Once you have reached all your goals, you can think about newer more distant goals. But the new goals should be higher or need more work to be obtained. As you seek higher goals and reach them, you’ll gain more confidence and believe strongly that you’ll be able to reach any goals you need or want to make. It is just a matter of believing in yourself and what you can do.

After accomplishing many goals in your life, you will have reached heights you probably never reached before. A world of opportunity that wasn’t there before will now be open to you. You’ll find yourself presented with endless possibilities that will take you places you've never been to before.

The one problem procrastinators claim they face is distractions in their environment. These distractions come in many forms. In order for you to handle what comes up in your life, you must remove distractions whatever they may be. Make sure you have plenty of light when studying. This way you don’t have to strain. When you do study, don’t get too comfortable, or else you will find yourself falling asleep, or not wanting to study. Make sure to sit in a desk chair or some kind of firm chair. A straight-back chair is great. This will keep you from being too relaxed. This way you can stay focused on what is in front of you.

One other problem that also must be addressed here is sleep. Ever since we were children, we have been told that we need eight or more hours of sleep to function properly. Our health, safety, and performance depend on a good night's sleep. Yet, most procrastinators do not get the amount of sleep they should. There could be a good reason for this. Procrastinators tend to fear missing out on some kind of action. They think that if they sleep too long they will miss out on something that they should have been involved in. This is particularly true of college students. Procrastinators find that they delay studying until the last minute, and then they do all-nighters and cram for the exams they need to take. The problem with this is that they deprive themselves of sleep, which in turn affects their memory. When it comes time to take the test, they can’t remember what they studied. This is why using good study habits and getting a good night’s sleep is essential to passing courses.

Many people wake up each morning by an alarm, which they set religiously, even though they don’t have to get up so early. But what they fail to do is go to bed the night before in time to get a good night’s sleep before that alarm goes off.
Sleep deprivation has caused many illnesses, accidents, and problems. This is because when you have a lack of sleep, you can’t concentrate fully. Not only can you not concentrate fully, you also can’t think quickly enough, nor can you remember facts or whatever material you had absorbed beforehand.

What procrastinators need to realize is that when they go to bed at night, they won’t miss anything. They will wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go and do whatever tasks they need to do. They will have a clear head and a better memory. They will be more successful at passing tests than if they sat up all night cramming. The best way for procrastinators to avoid sleep deprivation is to set up a schedule to study. By follow this schedule religiously, they will find it easier to study and they won’t miss the chance for a good night’s sleep.

The best way to get the right amount of sleep, besides having a schedule of study, is to focus on going to bed at the same time each night and having a set time to get up in the morning. But don’t set the clock to get you up too early in the morning until you have had ample time to get at least eight hours of sleep. If you must get up early, go to bed early, and do it each night. This way you will get the amount of sleep you need. This will make you alert, refreshed, and ready to go for another day. If you concentrate on doing this each day you will get into the habit of doing this and will do it automatically. Then you won’t revert back to being a procrastinator again. Whatever you do before you go to bed at night, don't drink caffeine. This is absolutely the worst thing to do. It acts as a stimulant and keeps you awake. Don’t drink coffee. If you must drink something hot, drink decaffeinated herbal tea. If your procrastination is so advanced that nothing seems to work to help you sleep, go see a psychiatrist or psychologist, so you can get the help you need.

You can deal with procrastination as long as you know the score. You must know that you have it, and that it is indeed a problem. Then you just need to learn about what causes the problem and take steps to deal with it.

Previously you learned about the causes of procrastination and why it happens. You were told that procrastination is a condition that can be cured once you know the condition, why it occurs, and how it happens. Knowing these facts will help you in your efforts to cure your procrastination. So what is there left to do? You need to learn about what you must do to stop procrastination in its tracks.

In order to stop procrastinating, you must take certain steps and follow certain guidelines. Although you take the steps to stop procrastinating, remember that you have been procrastinating for a long time, so you aren’t going to stop overnight. It will take some time to quit. But if you work at a certain program every day, it will help lessen the effects of it, until you are rid of procrastination for good.

Taking small steps may be the best way to cure procrastination. But you must start slowly. Don’t expect perfection, nor expect a change overnight. If you perform certain steps right, you’ll make it. Here are the most recommended steps to take:

• Start Small: Any time you do anything at first, your best bet is to start small. Take things gradually. If you must, make a list to follow each day. This will help you get through the day, at least till you don’t have to be dependent on lists any more.

• Changing Home Life: The hardest part for procrastinators is living by themselves at home. There is no one else around to say anything to them. They are basically on their own in their house. This can cause them to lack discipline. They will not want to try to change. And the hardest part of being alone is change. You have no one to encourage you or force you to keep going or make the necessary adjustments. This is why being at home is the hardest thing to do for a procrastinator.

• The Control Factor: The biggest problem for some procrastinators is they like to take control of situations.

Taking control has its good points and bad points. The good point is you see to it things get done. The bad point is that it can have negative connotations. You may develop the urge to go beyond the control you should have. Instead, monitor your control and only do what is necessary to get the work done that needs to be done. Don’t go beyond that. Have people around to help you so you won’t have to go it alone. Using control can help you, especially in an office situation, but if you go beyond this control, you are risking it.

An example of this could be if there is a special meeting you have to go to by 1 p.m., but you also have reports that are due by 2 p.m. You don’t want to put off doing the reports. So you get out your trusty list, and you work on your reports till about 12:30 p.m. You notice your meeting is in a building next door and it usually takes 10 minutes to get there. So you work on the reports till 12:30 p.m and then mark doing these reports off your list. Now you walk out the door. When you get back from the meeting, you check off the meeting from your list and take your reports to your manager for delivery. You have just completed your list for the day, if that is all you had listed. If you had more, you simply go back to your office and continue down the list. This is the best way to use the proper amount of control.

• Face Your Fears: The best way to face fears or resist the temptation to be a procrastinator is to think about what would happen to you if you procrastinated on the task you want to do. How would you feel about not doing it? What would happen if you didn’t do it? Usually asking questions about your own fear and doubt is a way to break it. Because when you realize the fear is not real, it helps you to overcome it. Or, if you feel a lot of pain, anger, or resentment around the fear and avoidance you may face now, then perhaps you should think twice about developing procrastination. Having this kind of attitude has worked numerous times for procrastinators in the past and can work for you now, if you let it work.

These are just some of the ways in which you can stop procrastination in its tracks. Just take the necessary steps to alleviate it and you will soon find that it is a thing of the past. Imagine a life without having to suffer from procrastination. This is possible if you follow through on all you have to do and stick to it. Remember what you read in this text. You can’t get rid of procrastination overnight. It will take time, perhaps days, months, or even years, but you will eventually get rid of it. Get rid of those internal emotions that cause you to have procrastination like fear, avoidance, and perfectionism, and you’ll be on your way to a life free of those emotions and conditions that have held you back for so long.

SUMMARY
From reading this series you have found that there are many people who suffer from procrastination. It is a behaviour problem that is very difficult to get rid of. People who suffer from it often find they engage in it without even thinking about it. It just happens. Unfortunately, procrastination affects people in a bad way. Some people don’t even know they have it.

The biggest question that is asked is what’s procrastination? According to psychologists, procrastination is an avoidance of something. The person who is a procrastinator feels that his life is unmanageable. They will do everything possible to avoid situations, just so they can get out of facing their responsibility no matter what the task is. At first, the person is relieved to know no action had to be taken. But then feelings of guilt, inadequacy, depression, and self-doubt arise for failing to accomplish the task at hand.

Procrastination is a complex psychological behavior. Those who are not afflicted by it are lucky. But then again there are those who do have the condition, but not as badly as others. To those who are badly afflicted by it, the condition can lead to stress and anxiety.

Procrastinators act strangely and are often predictable in behavior. You give them a task and right away they are eager to do it. When they start the task, they think they have everything under control until they begin to do the work. Then they find they can’t do it and make all kinds of excuses for not wanting to get it done.
It is only when procrastinators can get in touch with the reality of their condition and take steps to alleviate it, that their procrastination can become less of a burden, and maybe become a condition of the past.

For the person having the condition of procrastination, dealing with it is crucial. But many people try to treat the condition only to find it stays around and continues to haunt them. There really are many causes of procrastination. However, the most important point here is to find the cause and remove it so the person who suffers from it won’t have to suffer constantly.

As was stated earlier, the causes of procrastination are many. These can include having confusion and fear, not planning enough, not analyzing things, not prioritizing, avoiding responsibilities, chronic depression, fatigue, lack of vision, and many more symptoms.

Now you know procrastination does not have to control your life. Of course if you have had it for a long time, it will be hard to get rid of. But it’s not impossible. The main thing is to learn how to deal with it. Once you know how to deal with it, you can take the next step to get rid of the problem once and for all.

Before you can get rid of procrastination, you have to acknowledge you have the problem. After you recognize you have it, you can then take the appropriate steps to rid yourself of its cursed existence.
There is one obstacle that stands in the way for many people. This is the fact that it could take a long time for it to be cured. Sometimes it can take days, weeks, or even years before the condition goes away. Once you understand the reasons behind procrastination and why it won’t go away so easily, you can get to the root of it, and find what allows it to flourish in your life, and remove that problem.

As you know, the causes of procrastination are many and can vary from one person to another. It is hard to pinpoint the exact cause because there can be different origins for each person who suffers from it. So why doesn’t procrastination go away?

Procrastination has deep-rooted causes which keep people from finding a cure for it right away. Even though the sufferer may have taken steps to get cured, unless the person gets to the core or root of the problem, they will likely have procrastination until such issues are dealt with. As long as the person has inner fear, a need for control, or a need for perfection, the person will continue to suffer from procrastination.

Procrastination can be dealt with. Those who suffer from it can be free of it. But in order to keep procrastination from becoming a major problem that persists, changes must be made on the inside first. Once these changes are made, any kind of problems that may have surfaced previously will be eliminated.

Are You A Procrastinator?

If you fit the following situations, you probably are a procrastinator:

• Do you believe that if you ignore doing a task, it will go away? For example, if you have a mid-term exam coming up, do you ignore it thinking it will disappear, although you know it won’t?

• When you are assigned a task, do you underestimate it? Or do you find you overestimate your own abilities and find you can’t cut it after all? An example of this would be if you undertake a test and say you find it easy and can do the test in 10 minutes when in fact, it takes you two hours to do it?

• Do you believe that a lower score on a test will still be enough to pass it? For example, you’re in a math class taking a test. The goal is to get 100 but no less than 70 to pass. You believe that if you score a 68 or lower that you will still pass. Because of your thinking, you lessen the effort you would normally make to do well on the test, although you realize this could lower your overall grade point average. Whether you know this or not, by committing to this pattern, you will find your life will be unmanageable and you will meet failure after failure all your life.

• Do you substitute one activity for another lesser activity; despite the fact that the first activity will give you better or higher results? For instance, you are told you have to complete a writing assignment that is due on Friday, but instead of working on it, you take the time to clean the house, or go to see a movie.

• Do you find yourself constantly delaying a project or some minor event? And do you believe that doing this is harmless? What if you have an important project to finish, but you'd rather do something else, thinking you will only spend five or ten minutes doing something else and then return to do what was required? The only problem is you never go back to the important project, and so it never gets done, or you have to rush to do it at the last minute.

• Do you make it look like you plan to do something when in fact you don’t? An example would be that you promise to work on a task that has a deadline, but you have to go out of town for an emergency, so you take your laptop with you so you can work on the project while away. The only problem is you never do the work on the laptop. In fact, you keep the laptop in your travel bag tucked away in the cupboard of the room you are staying in.

• Do you find you are doing something but you are persevering only on one part of the task but not finishing the rest of it? A good example of this would be if you have a term paper due but you only focus on getting the introduction right, while ignoring the rest of the paper.

• When you are given a choice between two different projects to work on, but you are having trouble deciding which one to take. In fact you waste more time trying to decide that, and by the time you do choose, the deadline has already passed and you missed your deadline.

If you agree that one of all the above scenarios fit you to a tee, guess what? You are a procrastinator. The way to cure yourself of the problem is by first admitting you do have a problem, and then you can take the steps to cure your problem. Once you get past the denial phase, the actual steps you need to take next are the action phase, where you get into the steps to treat the problem. Hopefully, by the time you finish the action phase, you will no longer have to deal with procrastination.

The treatment may be from a psychological perspective or it could be medical. Whatever treatment option that is found, it will turn into a long-term treatment, if your condition is worse than the standard.

In order to really overcome procrastination, you have to get rid of many types of emotions and feelings or at least change the way you think.

An example of this would be the following:

• Difficult: You can’t sit there and think everything is difficult to do. If you do think things are difficult, you won’t want to deal with them.

• Time-consuming: If you think what you will need to do will take up too much time, this will be a defeating attitude.

• Lack of skills: One reason for not wanting to do something is because the person’s skill level is not high enough. This will force the person to think twice about taking on any kind of assignment.

• Fears: If the person has any kind of fears, this will prevent him from doing anything. He will prefer to do nothing and stay out of harm's way, rather than risk getting hurt or disappointed.

Procrastination does not have to control your life if you don’t let it. If you have dealt with it for a long time it will be hard to break free from it. But it is not impossible. The important consideration is learning the ways to deal with it. Then once you know that you can take the next step to overcoming the problem.

Before you can safely rid yourself of the problem of procrastination, you must first recognize it as a problem. Once you recognize it as a problem, you have to come to terms with it and understand why it is hard to get rid of. Not all people have been cured of procrastination, at least not right away. It sometimes takes days, weeks, or even years before the sufferer can escape its evil clutches. However once you do understand the reasons behind procrastination and why it is such a hard problem to get rid of, you can get to the root of it, and find the one ingredient that will help remove it from your system for good.

 It really is hard to give any concrete reasoning behind the problem because each person who suffers from procrastination does so in a variety of ways. But the bottom line is that procrastination is a hard problem to solve and it seems that it won’t go away. At least this is the way the sufferer feels about it.

Why won’t procrastination go away? Why does it rear its ugly head constantly? Why can’t people get rid of it quickly so they can lead normal lives? These are all good questions and the answers may surprise you.

Procrastination has deep causes, which is why people can’t seem to get rid of it as they want to. Although people may have made some attempt to do something about it, unless the core or root is addressed and resolved, the problem will continue onward for as long as the root is still there.

As for the root causes, there are many to choose from. Here are just a few:

• Disorganization: Whether you wish to accept this or not, procrastination and disorganization go hand-in-hand. People who are bad organizers are usually procrastinators. There are four levels of disorganization you need to consider since not all levels are the same or cause procrastination. These four levels include:

* Can’t distinguish between urgency and priority – Procrastinators have a difficult time distinguishing whether a problem or task is an urgent one, when it must be fulfilled and in what order. Procrastinators prefer to work with tasks that are more comfortable for them and put off the inconvenient or troublesome ones till later. In other words, they'd rather do what is convenient than what is urgent or prioritary. When procrastinators start working on the simple tasks, they find that the more urgent tasks are piling up and not getting done. Next thing they know, people start hounding them about the other tasks, so they start taking on other tasks just to quiet the crowd, but in the process, they find they get overwhelmed so they drop the previous task to take on the new task, which in turn leaves the previous task unfinished. But at least the present task has now become a priority where it was urgent before. Now, all the tasks that were assigned have gotten mixed up regarding execution time. Those that take on priority or urgency status are left behind for those that are more comfortable or non-urgent. Once a procrastinator gets into this situation, they are unable to establish proper priorities. This causes the procrastinator to request a reprieve from the tasks at hand and then he focuses on just the ones that are not so urgent or have a priority attached to them.

* Distractions – The procrastinator can easily get distracted to the point where tasks that may have been important are tossed aside for less important ones, mainly because they may be easier to handle or have less stress involved. If someone asked them why they didn’t get the present task done they will just claim something else came up.

* Being forgetful – Oftentimes a procrastinator will simply forget what they are supposed to do. When they take on a job or a bunch of tasks at once, they may claim to have a great memory so they can remember everything. But when it comes down to it, they may still say they remember what to do by claiming they were about to do it. If you ever checked out a procrastinator's home or belongings, you may just find they have a bunch of reminders tacked away somewhere, either in their pockets, or in their desk drawers.

* Lumping together – This is what procrastinators do very often. They take a bunch of activities and bring them together under one task and try to do them at the same time. When they do this they feel they have to hurry to get everything done on time. When this occurs, they put off doing it for the reason that it is too complicated a task.

• Fear: Fear was covered previously as a cause, but it is worth mentioning here again because fear also is a common problem with procrastinators. Fear is what motivates them not to do anything. Fear forces them not to engage in a task or problem and avoid it as much as possible. Fear keeps procrastination around and allows it to haunt the sufferer. The procrastinator struggles with fear on four levels: rational, irrational, discipline, or discomfort. Based on these levels they look at things from different perspectives, like knowing they should do it but for some reason they just can’t get into doing it, and they don’t know why that is. Or, they planned to do it, but just didn’t feel like doing it.

• Perfectionism: This is another trait that was covered previously as a cause. But because it is a predominate trait that causes the condition to stick around, it is also covered here. Procrastinators can’t seem to do anything unless they can do it perfectly. It has to be just right or they don’t want to do it. Despite the fact they have this attitude, they will not acknowledge that they are perfectionists. They will deny this claim emphatically. Yet, they will start a project and stop it at some point, if they feel it isn’t being done right. They will start up again when they believe they are more in control and will continue until they lose control again. When they sense everyone around them is irritated with them, they stop what they are doing, claiming to be exhausted from what they did.

If you are not sure what perfectionism is, or know of a procrastinator who does it but you aren’t too sure if what they do is perfectionism, here are some guidelines that will help you determine if perfectionism is involved:

* Being rigid or inflexible when doing a task. Procrastinators who are perfectionists tend to be rigid in the way they do things. They have to make sure it is just right or else they won’t comply.

* Procrastinators who are perfectionists will observe a project or task being done and believe it is not being done right. Therefore they will step in and take over even if they don’t finish it.

* They will have the attitude that if you give them a task to do, they will refuse to do it unless they can do it perfectly, no matter how simple the task may be.

* The procrastinator who has signs of a perfectionist, will feel inadequate and will want to find closure. They will feel agitated in some way or even have some level of discomfort, if a task or assignment they were assigned to or view, is not completed. These feelings will keep that person from performing the task at hand.
Reviewing the material above will give you some ideas as to why it is hard to get rid of procrastination. As long as the person who suffers from it has inward fear, feelings of needing to be in control, or is guided by the belief that what is done has to be perfect, they will continue suffer from procrastination.
The person’s inner self is what causes the problem of procrastination and it is also what allows it to continue bombarding the sufferer with continued bouts of feelings that surround the condition.

Procrastination can be dealt with. Those who suffer from it can be free of it. But in order to do something to keep procrastination from becoming a major persistent problem, changes must be made on the inside first. Once these changes are made, any kind of problem that may have surfaced previously will be eliminated.

Many procrastinators just make excuses for themselves claiming they may just be inherently lazy or have justification for why they behave as they do. They put on this mask as it were with the hope people will understand their feelings and leave them alone. The only problem with this logic is it doesn’t work. People will be more concerned than ever and will try to pry into their lives to offer help or try to find the reasons for their behaviour.

Procrastination does not have to be the dominate factor here. Instead, it can be a less dominate factor in your personality, but it takes time and a lot of effort to curb its influence.

If you suffer from procrastination on an ongoing basis, you may not do so in every area of your life. Some people procrastinate in one form or another. There are really five areas of life that you face daily. You may be a procrastinator in one area but not another. Or you may be a procrastinator in more than one area. It is rare that a person who suffers from procrastination is affected in every area of their lives, although there have been some who have done so. The five areas of your life that are affected to some degree by procrastination include personal, school, work, home, and relationships. To determine which area you procrastinate in you have to examine many characteristics of those areas. This way you can determine the area that needs the most attention.

Listed below are the most common characteristics you will find that are associated with each area as noted above. These areas are again personal, school, work, home, and relationships.

• Personal: There are many facets of your personal life that can be affected by procrastination. Let’s take each one in turn:

* Eating habits – Does procrastination interfere in the way you eat? Do you delay eating because you aren’t sure what you wish to eat, or don't feel like preparing a meal?

* Finances – What about your finances? Do you keep up to date with your checkbook, or do you delay in getting it done? Do you find you are behind in your bills? Always knowing where your money goes is vital to a balanced life. Without knowing this you could be in for financial disaster.

* Sleep – What about sleep? We all need sleep. But are you afraid to get enough sleep because you may miss out on something, although you can’t accomplish the task anyway? Does this attitude cause you to be tired all the time because of lack of sleep?

* Healthcare – What about your health? Do you refrain from going to the doctor to get a check up because you are afraid the doctor might find something wrong? Do you suffer from some illness or disease but you can’t see the doctor because you are afraid of seeing one? Having this kind of fear can even put your life in jeopardy.

* Exercise – How are you with exercise? Do you try to exercise at least three times a week or do you make the excuse you are too busy and keep putting it off? Do you have a schedule you should follow but don’t because you feel overwhelmed with everything you need to do? It is important to work out several days a week. It strengthens your muscles and helps condition your heart and lungs. By not doing it, you can become lethargic, weak, and awkward.

* Personal Hygiene – What about your body? Do you keep it clean? Do you keep your hair cut to a certain length so it doesn’t look long and shabby? If you are a man, do you keep your face shaved, or at least keep your mustache and beard trimmed? If you are a woman, do you keep your hair clean and neat? If you are to be respected by others you must keep your appearance respectable. Unfortunately, some procrastinators go around with smelly bodies because they claim not to have enough time to wash. Does that sound like you?

• School: School is another area where procrastination can be involved. This can include many different situations. These situations are usually:

* Getting to class on time – Do you find this is a major problem? Procrastinators are often late for class. Just when it gets close to class time, they look at the clock and claim they have plenty of time to get there. They delay by doing other activities. When they finally take the effort to get there, the class is over. Do you go through this constantly? If so, is this why you refuse to even go to college or to pursue further education? This can have a bad effect on your future life. And the problem here is that it happens to many procrastinators.

* Doing homework – How do you feel about doing homework? Do you drag it out, hoping the homework will just do itself or will just miraculously go away? Do you see your grades failing because you just can’t get into gear to do it, and so you either don’t turn your homework in on time, or you are late?

* Doing assigned projects – What happens to you when you are assigned projects in school? If you are teamed with other members, do you jump in and do the project because you find they aren’t doing their part right? Or do you just give excuses why you can’t be in the group and request to either do the work alone or with someone else? Procrastinators have been known to do this in school and this causes more problems than it is worth. This is why the teacher will be selective in giving a student who the teacher knows is a procrastinator any kind of project because of the way the procrastinator handles it.

* Research – What about research for your homework or assignments? Do you engage in research? Do you go to your school library and do the proper research you need to get your work done? Or do you shy away from the responsibility, claiming you’ll get to it the next day and find it didn’t get done or you were late in doing it?

* Test-Taking – How are you regarding taking tests? Many procrastinators will look at a future test as happening far in the future and will not be too concerned about studying for it until it is too late. Then they fail the test and wonder why.

• Work: The workplace is another area where procrastination can cause many problems for the sufferer. Here are some general areas in the workplace where procrastination can cause the most problems:

• Getting to work on time – There are too many procrastinators who lose their jobs because of chronic lateness. Nearly every day they are late by 5, 10, or 15 minutes. Many procrastinators can’t hold down a job because they have lateness issues. Until they get psychological help, they just don’t have the ability to find or keep a job.

• Completing tasks at work – For those procrastinators who have no problem with getting to work on time, they just can’t seem to accomplish a task on time. They are constantly yelled at by their boss for failing to meet deadlines. This has often caused a problem for the department the procrastinator works in, because the manager has to work around this issue by assigning the task to another worker, which delays the process and production. The boss may feel sorry for the worker, thereby not firing the person, but will reprimand them, hoping the problem will go away.

• Home: If any place causes the most problems other than the workplace, it is the home. This is because when the procrastinator is at home, that person’s family is exposed. This can eventually lead to a lot of frustration and confusion on the part of the members of the family. If the procrastinator lives alone, the only damage that is done is to the person. Here are some common problems that a procrastinator may face in the home.

* Getting things repaired – If any appliance were to breakdown, this could disrupt the household. What if the TV went dead? Everybody would be without a TV for a while because the procrastinator would not take the time to call for service, unless, for the procrastinator who has a family, another family member kicks in and does the calling. But this could cause resentment on behalf of the family against the procrastinator.

* Getting groceries – Whether the procrastinator has a family or lives alone, the one aspect to everyone’s life is to eat. How do you eat? You have to buy groceries. This is where going shopping comes in. But the procrastinator will hesitate to go shopping. The person’s excuse will be that there is always time to go shopping, or they do not feel like going today. There is always an excuse. In cases like this, the person has to be really motivated to go, or someone would have to force them to go shopping.

* Cleaning the house – Here is another concern for procrastinators in and around the home. If you go to the house of a procrastinator, you may find the house dirty, disorganized, dishes unwashed, dishes left on furniture, food left everywhere, etc. Some procrastinators aren’t affected in this area, so this is no problem for them. But for those affected, it can be a real problem.

* Laundry – What about the laundry? Does it get done? Or does the procrastinator wear unclean clothes? If the procrastinator has a family, someone else may do the wash, seeing that the procrastinator does not do it. But if the procrastinator lives alone, do they live in a house with dirty laundry lying around? Or, maybe they manage to do the laundry but just do not put it away. These are all serious issues the procrastinator has to deal with.

• Relationships: This is has got to be the hardest part for a procrastinator to face during their existence. The hardest thing to deal with as a procrastinator is a relationship. Relationships are hard enough to deal with without the added complication of procrastination. Here are some things that a procrastinator has to deal with in relationships:

*Dealing with friends – How are you with friends? Can you talk to them? Or do you put off dealing with them for some reason or another? If your friend acts a certain way against you, do you take it out on the person, or do you just shy away without reacting? Procrastinators will not even budge against the person, thinking that they don’t want to get involved in a fight.

* Going on a date – If you are a procrastinator, how do you handle a date? Do you go out with the person hoping to have a good time or do you dismiss it and hope the night ends soon? Or do you use and excuse and not go out at all? Many procrastinators feel very timid about being out in public with someone else for fear they may disappoint them and their date may not like them. So they avoid the situation by not going out at all. If this is a problem for a procrastinator, the sufferer could be very lonely.

* Getting out of a relationship – If you are a procrastinator and you happen to have gotten into a relationship, but have found that relationship has gone sour, you may avoid getting out of it because of your feelings toward the person. Even if the relationship is bad, your feelings of low self-esteem may keep you in it no matter what. This creates a problem for the procrastinator and the family, if there are kids involved.

If you are a procrastinator and you find that one or more of the above situations concerns you, you are not alone. There are many people who have the same issues. Despite the fact procrastination can be a problem for people, it can at times be an advantage. For instance, the procrastinator may use his condition to delay making a decision so as to give the matter careful consideration. You can also use it to put off doing a task you may find contradicts your beliefs, or which may prove to be unethical or immoral, or just does not fit your lifestyle.

Procrastination is a problem that just won’t go away, or at least the procrastinator finds it hard to overcome the condition. But there is hope. In this series you will learn ways to control procrastination.

Turn Over A New Leaf: Realise Your Potential. Part 1

Turn Over A New Leaf: Realise Your Potential. Part 1